In my classes, women often ask, "Is it safe for a woman to travel alone through Europe?" This is a question best answered by women. Europe Through the Back Door researcher Risa Laib wrote this chapter based on her solo experience and tips contributed from other travelers: Gail Morse, Peggy Roberts, Suzanne Hogsett, Bharti Kirchner, Kendra Roth, Gretchen Strauch, Ann Neel, and Heidi Sewell. Collectively, these women have more than a decade of solo travel experience in dozens of countries.
Note that many of these tips are equally useful for anyone traveling solo — male or female.
Every year, thousands of women, young and old, travel to Europe on their own. You're part of a grand group of adventurers. Traveling alone, you'll have the chance to make your own discoveries and the freedom to do what you like. It becomes habit-forming.
As a solo woman, you're more approachable than a couple or a solo man. You'll make friends from all over the world, and you'll have experiences that others can only envy. When you travel with a partner, you need to compromise, your focus narrows, and doors close. When you're on your own, you're open to the moment.
Your friends and family may try to talk you out of solo travel, worrying for your safety and regaling you with horror stories. Remind them — and yourself — that millions of women have traveled alone, and will continue to do so time and time again.
Solo travel is fun, challenging, vivid, and exhilarating. It's a gift from you to you. Prepared with good information and a positive attitude, you'll thrive in Europe. And you'll come home stronger and more confident than ever before. Here's how to make it happen.
Getting Inspired
Read exciting books written by solo women travelers about their experiences (try Dervla Murphy's outrageous adventures). For practical advice, read "how-to" travel guidebooks written by and for women (such as those listed in the sidebar at right).
Seek out other women travelers. Invite them out for dinner and pepper them with questions. Visit online forums for your destination and send email to other women for advice.
Take classes. A foreign-language course is ideal. Consider a class in European history, art history, or travel skills.
Keep up on international news so you can discuss local politics. Study a map of Europe — get to know your neighbors.
Pretend you're traveling alone before you ever leave America. Practice reaching out. Strike up conversations with people in the grocery line. Consciously become more adaptable. If it rains, marvel at the miracle.
Think hard about what you want to see and do. Create the vacation of your dreams.
Facing the Challenges
These are probably your biggest fears: vulnerability to theft, harassment, and loneliness. Take heart. You can tackle each of these concerns head-on. If you've traveled alone in America, you're more than prepared for Europe. In America, theft and harassment are especially scary because of their connection with assault. In Europe, you'll rarely, if ever, hear of violence. Theft is past tense (as in, "Where did my wallet go?"). As for experiencing harassment, you're far more likely to think, "I'm going to ditch this guy ASAP" than, "This guy is going to hurt me."
Loneliness is often the most common fear. But, remember, if you get lonely, you can do something about it.
Traveling Alone Without Feeling Lonely
Here are some tips on meeting people, eating out, and enjoying your evenings.
Meeting people: Stay in hostels and you'll have a built-in family (hostels are open to all ages). Or choose small pensions and B&Bs, where the owners have time to talk with you. At most tourist sites, you'll meet more people in an hour than you would at home in a day. If you're feeling shy, cameras are good icebreakers; offer to take someone's picture with their camera.
Take your laundry and a deck of cards to a launderette and turn solitaire into gin rummy. You'll end up with a stack of clean clothes and conversations.
If traveling with an MP3 player (such as an iPod), bring along a Y-jack and a second set of headphones to share your music.
Take a walking tour of a city (ask at the tourist information office). You'll learn about the town and meet other travelers, too. If you're staying in a hostel, check their boards — some also arrange tours.
It's easy to meet people on buses and trains. You're always welcome at a church service; stay for the coffee hour. When you meet locals who speak English, find out what they think — about anything.
Play with kids. Learn how to say "pretty baby" in the native language. If you play peek-a-boo with a baby or fold an origami bird for a kid, you'll make friends with the parents as well as the children.
Try pairing up with another solo traveler. Stay for a while in a small town or return to a city you enjoyed. The locals will remember you, you'll know the neighborhood, and it'll feel like home.
Eating out: Consider quick and cheap alternatives to formal dining. Try a self-service café, a local-style fast-food restaurant, or a small ethnic eatery. Visit a supermarket deli and get a picnic to eat in the square or a park (families often frequent parks). Get a slice of pizza from a take-out shop and munch it as you walk along, people-watching and window-shopping. Eat in the members' kitchen of a hostel; you'll always have companions. Make it a potluck.
A restaurant feels cheerier at noon than at night. If you like company, eat in places so crowded and popular that you have to share a table or ask other single travelers if they'd like to join you. Assume that many couples would enjoy a third party at their dinner table to stoke the conversation.
If you eat alone, be busy. Use the time to learn more of the language. Practice your verbal skills with the waiter or waitress (when I asked a French waiter if he had kids, he proudly showed me a picture of his twin girls). Read a guidebook, a novel, or the International Herald Tribune. Do trip-planning, draw in your journal, or scrawl a few postcards to the folks back home.
An afternoon at a café is a great way to get some writing done; for the cost of a beverage and a snack, you'll be granted more peace and privacy than at a public fountain or other open space.
Most countries have a type of dish or restaurant that's fun to experience with a group. When you run into tourists during the day, make plans for dinner. Invite them to join you for, say, a rijsttafel dinner in the Netherlands, a smörgåsbord in Scandinavia, a fondue in Switzerland, a paella feast in Spain, or a spaghetti feed in an Italian trattoria.
At night: Experience the magic of European cities at night. Go for a walk along well-lit streets. With gelato in hand, enjoy the parade of people, busy shops, and illuminated monuments. Night or day, you're invariably safe when lots of people are around. Take advantage of the wealth of evening entertainment: concerts, movies, puppet shows, and folk dancing. Some cities offer tours after dark. You can see Paris by night on a river cruise.
During the evening, visit an Internet café. Send travel news to your friends and family. You'll find friendly answers in your inbox the next time you have the opportunity to get online.
If you like to stay in at night, get a room with a balcony overlooking a square. You'll have a front-row seat to the best show in town. An MP3 player loaded with familiar tunes can also help cheer you. Call home, a friend, your family. With cheap international phone cards, it's actually inexpensive. Read novels set in the country you're visiting. Learn to treasure solitude. Go early to bed, be early to rise. Shop at a lively morning market for fresh rolls and join the locals for coffee.
Protecting Yourself from Theft
As a woman, you're often perceived as being more vulnerable to theft than a man. Here are some tips to help keep you safe.
Carry a daypack instead of a purse. Leave expensive-looking jewelry at home. Keep your valuables in your money belt and tuck your wallet (containing only a day's worth of cash) in your front pocket. Keep your camera zipped up in your daypack. In crowded places (buses, subways, street markets), carry your daypack over your chest or firmly under one arm. Ask at your hotel or the tourist office if there's a neighborhood you should avoid, and mark it on your map.
Avoid tempting people into theft. Make sure valuables in your hotel room are kept out of sight. Wear your money belt when you sleep in hostels. When you're sightseeing, never set down anything of value (such as a camera, wallet, or railpass). Either hold it in your hand or keep it zipped away. If you're sitting down to rest, eat, or check your email, loop a strap of your daypack around your arm, leg, or chair leg. Remember, you're unlikely ever to be hurt by thieves. They want to separate you from your valuables efficiently and painlessly, without alerting you.
Dealing with Men
In small European towns, men are often more likely to speak English than women. If you never talk to men, you could miss out on a chance to learn about the country. So, by all means, talk to men. Just choose the men and choose the setting.
In northern Europe, you won't draw any more attention from men than you do in America. In southern Europe, particularly in Italy, you'll get more attention than you're used to, but it's usually in the form of the "long look" — nothing you can't handle.
Be aware of cultural differences. In the Mediterranean world, when you smile and look a man in the eyes, it's often considered an invitation. Wear dark sunglasses and you can stare all you want.
Dress modestly to minimize attention from men. Take your cue from what the local women wear. In Italy, slacks and skirts (even short ones) are considered more proper than shorts.
Wear a real or fake wedding ring and carry a picture of a real or fake husband. There's no need to tell men that you're traveling alone, or whether you're actually married or single. Lie unhesitatingly. You're traveling with your husband. He's waiting for you at the hotel. He's a professional wrestler who retired from the sport for psychological reasons.
If you'd like to date a guy, meet him at a public place. Tell him you're staying at a hostel — you have a 10 p.m. curfew and 29 roommates. Better yet, bring a couple of your roommates along to meet him. After the introductions, let everyone know where you're going and when you'll return.
Handling Harassment
The way you handle harassment at home works in Europe, too.
In southern Europe, men may think that if you're alone, you're available. Keep your stride confident and look away from men trying to attract your attention. If a man comes too close to you, say "no" firmly in the local language. That's usually all it takes. Tell a slow learner that you want to be alone. Then ignore him. (Some women pretend they don't understand English by shrugging and mumbling a phrase in another language.)
If he's obnoxious, solicit the help of others. Ask people at a café or on the beach if you can join them for a while.
If he's well-meaning but too persistent, talk openly to him. Turn him into an ally. If he's a northern Italian, ask him about southern Italian men. Get advice from him on how you can avoid harassment when you travel farther south. After you elicit his "help," he'll be more like a brother than a bother to you.
Usually men are just seeing if you're interested. Only a few are difficult. If a man makes a lewd gesture, look away and leave the scene. Harassers don't want public attention drawn to their behavior. I went out for a walk in Madrid one evening, and a man came up much too close to me, scaring me. I shouted, "Get!" And he was gone. I think I scared him as much as he scared me. Ask a local woman for just the right thing to say to embarrass jerks. Learn how to say it, loudly. (The
Rick Steves Phrase Books have a whole section on phrases handy for women.)
If you feel like you're being followed, trust your instincts. Don't worry about overreacting or seeming foolish. Forget ladylike behavior — start screaming and acting crazy if the situation warrants it. Or head to the nearest hotel and chat up the person behind the desk until your would-be admirer moves on. Ask the hotelier to call you a cab to take you to your own hotel, hostel, or B&B.
If you feel the need to carry mace, take a self-defense class instead. Mace will be confiscated at the airport, but knowledge and confidence are yours to keep. And, remember, the best self-defense is common sense.
Traveling Smart
Create conditions that are likely to turn out in your favor. By following these tips, you'll have a safer, smoother, more enjoyable trip.
Be self-reliant so that you don't need to depend on anybody unless you want to. Always carry cash, food, water, a map, a guidebook, and a phrase book. When you need help, ask another woman or a family.
When you use cash machines, withdraw cash during the day on a busy street, not at night when it's dark with too few people around.
Walk purposefully with your head up. Look like you know where you're going. Use landmarks (such as church steeples) to navigate. If you get lost in an unfriendly neighborhood, go into a restaurant or store to ask for directions or to study your map.
Learn enough of the language to get by. With a few hours' work you'll know more than most tourists and be better prepared to deal with whatever situation arises. At a bus station in Turkey, I witnessed a female tourist repeatedly asking in English, louder and louder, "When does the bus leave?" The frustrated ticket clerk kept answering her in Turkish, "Now, now, now!" If you know even just a little of the language, you'll make it much easier on yourself and those around you.
Before you leave a city, consider visiting the train or bus station you're going to leave from, so you'll know where it is, how long it takes to reach it, and what services it has. Note if the station seems clean, well-lit, and safe. Reconfirm your departure time.
Skip hitchhiking. But if you absolutely have to hitch, choose people to ask, instead of being chosen. Try your luck at a gas station, restaurant, on a ferry, or in the parking lot of a tourist attraction. Ideally, pair up with another traveler.
When taking the train, avoid staying in empty compartments, especially at night. Rent a couchette for overnight trains. For about $30, you'll stay with like-minded roommates in a compartment you can lock, in a car monitored by an attendant. You'll wake reasonably rested with your belongings intact.
It's possible to ask for a female roommate on overnight trains. (You'll have better luck if the train isn't crowded.) Some countries, such as Spain, are better about accommodating these requests than others. In France, a one-bed compartment closest to the conductor is set aside for women, but it's the most expensive type of accommodation. In general, ask what the options are, make the request to bunk with other women, and hope for the best — but don't count on it.
If you're departing late at night and the bus or train station is sketchy, ask your B&B owner if you can hang out in their breakfast room — generally untouched in the evening — until you need to leave for the station. Cafés, including busy Internet cafés, which are often open late, can also be a better spot to kill time than the train station waiting room. (If you arrive at a train station you'll later be departing from, note if the station seems clean, well-lit, and safe.)
If you're not fluent in the language, accept the fact that you won't always know what's going on. There's a reason why the Greek bus driver drops you off in the middle of nowhere. It's a transfer point, and another bus will come along in a few minutes. You'll often discover that the locals are looking out for you.
The same good judgment you use at home applies to Europe. Start out cautious and figure out as you travel what feels safe to you.
Treat yourself right — get enough rest, healthy food, and exercise. Walking is a great way to combine exercise and sightseeing. I've jogged alone in cities and parks throughout Europe without any problems. If a neighborhood looks seedy, head off in another direction.
Relax. There are other trains, other buses, other cities, other people. If one thing doesn't work out, something else will. Thrive on optimism. Have a grand adventure!
