8 Dating Mistakes Even Smart Girls Make

by Brenda Della Casa for Glamour Magazine      

Dating Mistake #1: Being Too Available 

We’re not suggesting you play games (ok maybe we are a little), but we are telling you to indulge your passions and resist the urge to abandon your social circle every time your new man sends an invitation. Take Sebastian, 34, from Chicago, for example: “When I was single, there were women I initially liked who seemed to be waiting by the phone for me to call, which let me know if I didn’t meet someone else I wanted to date, I had a standby. There just wasn’t anything to work for, and that turned me off,” he says. The more you engage in and enjoy your life, the more he’ll work to be a part of it.

Dating Mistake #2: Trying to Rehabilitate a Bad Boy

Ending a relationship is rarely easy, and though flying solo might not be your long-term goal, being on your own is better than feeling alone in a relationship with someone who treats you poorly. Even when it might be tempting to give a toxic romance one more try, knowing when to cut your losses and move on leaves you available and baggage-free when the right guy comes along.

Dating Mistake #3: Looking for Perfection

Encouraging you to settle isn’t our style, but separating your desires from your deal-breakers can give your love life a major upgrade. “There are some qualities that your mate must have—being honest, for example—and others, such as movie-star looks, that should be thrown in the would-be-nice category,” says Elizabeth R. Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “Sit down and realistically figure out what characteristics are nonnegotiable and then be open-minded about the rest.”

Dating Mistake #4: Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Resist the urge to bemoan your single status (which will only make him wonder why you find yourself such terrible company) and use this time to date yourself. Taking a dance class at the local studio, hitting up the exhibit you have been aching to see and trying out the new wine bar on the corner will not only offer you the chance to have more fun but will also leave you more likely to meet someone who shares your interests. So much better than sitting in your apartment waiting for someone to “wink” at your online profile picture, isn’t it? Another bonus? You’ll have far more interesting things to talk about over dinner than what your boss made you do on your lunch break last Friday.

Dating Mistake #5: Knowing His Thread-Count Before You Know His Phone Number

Getting it on with a sexy stranger is your natural-born right, but according to many guys, it can be the wrong move if you’re looking for long-term love.

Follow the advice of super-sexy leading man Gilles Marini (he was Samantha’s sexy neighbor in Sex and the City: The Movie): “Men love women who respect themselves and who do not rush into bed with them but instead go on a few dates, where they can start to gain an understanding of each other and then decide whether or not to take things further. Women need to know that taking it slow and getting to know one another is the best way to get into a good relationship,” he says.

Dating Mistake #6: Being Too Selfish in Your Relationship

One of the downsides of being independent is that it can lead to some self-absorbed tendencies—a huge turnoff for men looking for a serious relationship, says Ming Gregory, a professional matchmaker at Color Blind International Dating Service. So make sure you’re giving as much as you’re receiving in your next relationship. “A partnership involves two people who share mutual interests and mutually benefit one another,” she says. “It’s not just about what being with him can provide you; it’s about how you can come together to complement each other.”

Dating Mistake #7: Believing in The One

“A lot of women make dating more difficult by placing so much pressure on themselves to find the one-and-only-man-in-a-billion they believe is right for them,” says Ali, 35, from Gaithersburg, Maryland.

Instead of convincing yourself the ex you dumped was your soul mate or that perfect-but-married co-worker was your one that got away, take a cue from our male counterparts and approach the dating scene with the idea that there are plenty of men who are capable of making you laugh, sharing your values and melting your heart, and you’re going to have fun with several of them until you find one worthy of your commitment.

Dating Mistake #8: Forgetting Your Manners

We can’t imagine this is something you’d ever do, but a little reminder never hurts: Say thank you.

“Good manners have become so old-fashioned that men now wait for the thank-you at the end of the date as a way to see if she’s worth seeing again,” says Brian, 30, from New York City. “I don’t care if the woman looks like Kate Beckinsale and has a Ph.D.; if she can’t be bothered to utter those two little words, I am never calling her again."

Be smart and always protect your hearts, you smarty pants doll you!

Krazy About Kombucha

One day in 1995, Millennium Products founder GT Dave's life came crashing down when he heard that his mother had just been diagnosed with a highly aggressive form of breast cancer. After a week of emotional turmoil, he was relieved to find out that her breast cancer had not spread, and that the pungent-tasting cultured tea that she had been drinking was part of the reason why. GT was touched by how Kombucha had helped his mom and was inspired to begin making it from the kitchen of his house. Fast forward 10 years: GT's Kombuhca has grown from its humble beginnings to a full-fledged company that makes over a dozen different varieties of Kombucha products distributed throughout most of the U.S.

What is it?
It orginated several thousands of years ago in Asia. According to records that date as far as 221 BC, it is believed to have first been consumed in China where it was named "The Drink of Immortality." It later spread to Japan, Russia, India, and Europe. Those who drank the beverage attributed their longevity and their immunity to metabolic diseases to their daily consumption of it.

What does it do?
Kombucha is not an herb, a drug, or a medicine. It is basically a super healthy food that helps to rid the body of toxins. Toxins can come from environmental, emotional, or dietary sources. When the body is in a toxic state, its immune system can be weighed down and weakened. Many illnesses and health conditions can be symptoms of a build up of toxins. Toxicity can cause a severe imbalance in the body. But through detoxification, the body can be restored to a stronger and healthier state. Once this occurs, the body is more capable of healing itself.

The amazing part of GT's Kombucha is that all its nutrients are naturally created and do not come from "chemical engineering." The probiotics, enzymes, and natural detoxifiers are all formed during the culturing period. Therefore, they assimilate completely in the body for maximum benefits.

Studies show Kombucha contains vital nutrients that are extremely beneficial for strengthening the body's natural defense against disease and illness. The nutrients found in Kombucha are:

Active Enzymes: These are the "life force" of the most vital raw foods. Research shows that every human is born with a plentiful amount of enzymes, however, they begin to diminish as we get older, which results in signs of aging. When these enzymes are replenished the body is able to maintain a more youthful state. They also assist in the stomach's metabolism of foods, soothe indigestion and clam the appetite to prevent overeating.

Glucoronic Acid: This is a natural liver detoxifier. It binds with the toxins that build up in the liver and forces them out of the body's system.

Natural Antibiotics: These antibiotics only target the "bad" bacteria and naturally prevent and treat infections. (Note: The antibiotics in Kombucha are not to be confused with the unfavorable antibiotics which are prescribed by physicians or the ones used in meats and dairy).

Probiotic Cultures: These are beneficial bacteria that are crucial for healthy intestinal flora. They work together with the immune system to ensure that the body's natural defenses are in optimum condition.

Other Nutrients: Vitamins B1, B2, B3, B6, B12

Mucointisulfat Acid: Repairs the stomach lining.

Folic Acid: Assists in the production of red blood cells by the bone marrow.

Drink it Daily, Feel it Forever:
Unfortunately, our bodies are bombarded by impurities on a regular basis. To help counteract this, GT's Kombucha can be consumed on a daily basis to help detoxify and flush out toxins. When drinking it for the first time, start off with 6-8 ounces and then gradually increases to an amount that you are comfortable with. There is no wrong way to drink GT's Kombucha. It can be consumed before, during, or after meals. Most people prefer to drink it first thing in the morning, but it can also be taken in the later part of the day for a natural energy lift. GT's Kombucha is also great for replenishing after yoga, Pilates, cardio, or weight training.

Kombucha Supports:                                                   
Digestion
Metabolism
Immune system
Weight control
Liver function
Body alkalinity
Anti-aging
Cell integrity
Healthy skin & hair

Find this drink of magic at a local health food store like Trader Joe's or Henry's today!

Chicisimo: A fashion life-changer

A website about real fashion on real girls from around the world that breaks down clothes & accessories by type, brand, color, and country, complete with links to where you can even purchase each item? Umm YES please!!!

For the best fashion website EVERRR click here !

                                  Spain knows what's up

                                 So does the Netherlands

And Germany...

                                        And Australia...

                                           And China...

                    And the list goes on & on...Thanks, Chicisimo! 

ChicisiInspiration straight off the street!

Real fashion on real people

Ruehl'ed Out

I'm sure many others can relate to my experience(s) with Abercrombie and Fitch: "Man, their sweaters are soft but...HOW much are they?!"

A&F has always prided themselves in being "Casual Luxury" and have become nearly a staple in any teenager's wardrobe and popular for foreigners. I have to admit, it's impressive that they do not spend a dime on marketing; they don't do commercials or magazine ads and yet they've become a household name. They are so successful, that they have bragged about not having to lower their retail prices. Their stubbornness to change in any manner to the changing economy and consumer climate shows an obnoxiousness that turns me off as a consumer, but hey, maybe that's because I'm broke. However, Wall Street was definitely NOT pleased with their declining business and their CEO finally admitted to their decision to decrease initial prices slightly (and in time for the holiday season) in hopes of boosting sales again.

I know that Abercrombie is expensive ($30 for a graphic T? No spanks). I'd rather shop at their sister store, Hollister, which is more budget friendly (and who cares about the kids' store? Ok, maybe I've tried their jeans...), but perhaps an unsurprising event is that their failing line, Ruehl, is shutting down. For those who have not heard of Ruehl, it's an even more expensive Abercrombie that also sells leather bags on the side. Sadly (?), the line closed its doors on December 24, 2009. And, as far as the grapevine goes, NOTHING will go on sale. Dang.

As a young economist, retail therapist and fickle consumer, Ruehl was just too obnoxious to handle. It's prices were ridiculous for the same quality as A&F, and I felt a bit insulted that they would assume I wouldn't see through their plan. Yes, Abercrombie and Fitch has some some of the softest clothes I've ever touched, but I'd rather save my money, fly myself to Thailand, go on an adventure and buy a soft pile of legit A&F for $2 a piece. No joke, this is from personal experience. I think the workers stole it from the factory itself and sold it at the market because it had the paper price tags and everything on it.

Until then, goodbye Ruehl, you were too high maintenance for me. Also, I couldn't wear cute heels with you. =(

How to properly clean contact lenses

Do you wear contacts on a daily basis? Did you know that if you don’t properly clean your contacts, you could be at risk for an eye infection? I was planning to blog about the latest trend of circle lenses in Asia, but decided to start off with a quick intro to keeping your contacts clean and thus, keeping your eyes happy! =) I will post about circle lenses when my mom comes back from Asia with my contacts.

I’ve been wearing contacts for about 10 years now. The reason I don’t wear glasses is not because I don’t think they look good, but they just always slide down my face since I don’t have a high nose bridge. (Ah, the hardships of being Asian…) I haven’t really ever had a problem with contacts until this past year. I was prescribed a new set of contacts that was to be changed every year rather than every month. My eyes started to get irritated on a daily basis and I eventually went to see one of the eye doctors at work.

Turns out that the multi-purpose saline solution I use to clean my contacts wasn’t enough to break down the protein buildup. It was then that I was introduced to Clear Care by my optometrist.



From their website: “Clear Care uses hydrogen peroxide to kill germs and bacteria that cause eye infections. Clear Care works with its special lens case to create a bubbling action which actively cleans and removes protein from your lenses so the lenses feel more comfortable.”

I wanted to do a short tutorial on how to use Clear Care since I know a lot of people aren’t familiar with this type of care for contacts. I certainly didn’t know about it until my optometrist told me about it.



Each box comes with a bottle of solution and a special type of lens case (as shown above).


The metallic wheel is what neutralizes the hydrogen peroxide and the “basket” is where your each contact lens goes. (they are marked L and R)


After you have placed your contacts in the special lens holder, fill the clear container with Clear Care solution up to the marked line.



Then all that’s left to do is to put the lens holder in the cup, screw it shut, and let the solution do its work! Be sure to let it sit for at least 6 hours or else burning/stinging will occur. The solution needs at least 6 hours to neutralize.

Some safety tips to keep in mind: [also from their website]

• Never use Clear Care with a regular flat lens case. Clear Care only works with the special lens case provided.
• A fresh lens case is included FREE in each package of Clear Care. Always use the new Clear Care lens case when you open a new package.
• Keep your lenses in the Clear Care lens case for at least 6 hours. The solution needs time to neutralize – making it safe for you to insert your lenses.
• Never rinse lenses with Clear Care prior to inserting lenses into your eyes. Clear Care is a powerful cleaning and disinfecting solution that will burn and sting your eyes unless neutralized properly. If you want to rinse lenses, use a sterile saline solution.
• Never squirt Clear Care directly into your eyes.

Clear Care works for all types of soft contact lenses (daily disposable, weekly, colored, etc). I used to use Clear Care once a week to remove protein buildup from my contacts but now I use it every day. We only have one set of eyes and I’d rather play it safe and make sure my contacts are bacteria-free, than to lose my eye sight in case of a severe eye infection. Plus, after the protein is removed, the contacts are much more comfortable against your eyes – almost like wearing a brand new pair!

Hope this helped for all those contact wearers out there! I’ll be back soon with a post on newest fashion trend in Asia – Circle Lenses!

How to tell if a guy is into you: the nonverbal edition

Dolls, you may THINK a person (and especially a guy) is able to mask their feelings by keeping their words & how they say them under control, however, as hard as we all may try, our bodies do not lie! According to a UCLA medical study, a whopping 93% of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues! That means only 7% of communication is actually what we say, and the rest is left up to body language. So no matter how hard a guy TRIES to play off his feelings for you, check for these signs that indicate he's actually way sprung:

1. He tilts his head slightly to one side. This is a sub-conscious come hither signal showing vulnerability & hopefully make himself more approachable.

2. He positions his chest towards you. Whatever a guy aims his upper body at is the most important thing in the room to him, even if he is looking in a different direction. 

3. He lifts his eyebrows. When a guys sees a girl he finds attractive, he'll automatically lift his eyebrows, causing the center of his forehead to slightly wrinkle in the process.

4. He stands with his legs apart and pelvis facing towards you- it's a biological stance that most guys don't even realize they're doing. 

5. He slouches his shoulders. When a guy finds a girl's actions to be adorable, he gets the urge to hold her, causing his shoulders to automatically hunch.

6. He kisses you softly on the cheek or forehead. A kiss on the cheek shows he is genuinely sweet and wants to take care of you. A kiss on the forehead indicates utmost respect.

7. He has a big goofy grin around you. This is a spontaneous, unable-to-be- contained, head-over-heels smile that indicates he's toast.

9. He extends his palm- he's literally and figuratively reaching out to the person he's speaking to as an invitation to connect on a deeper level. Studies show that people almost always respond to an open palm, as it symbolizes deep trust and commitment.

10. He walks in sync with your stride- not slightly ahead or behind. This gesture is a way of showing that he respects you and wants to face the world as a united, trusting pair.

11. He cups your face in his hands. It's an almost innate gesture for a guy that he often doesn't even think about doing, which signals that he is absolutely crazy about you. 

12. He sweeps a strand of hair out of your face while talking to you. This is another example of a very sweet and caring gesture, which shows that he wants to take care of you and wants you to trust him.

15. He watches you walk away. It means he misses you the instant you leave and wants to catch one last glimpse for as long as possible.

16. He mirrors your movements. In other words, you're at a restaurant and when you pick up the glass to take a drink, he does the same. This is an innate biological gesture that most people don't even realize they're doing. It symbolizes wanting to be in sync and in unison with the object of your affection. 

17. He bear hugs you good-bye. He is overcome with his feelings towards you yet can't express it how he'd truly like to, resulting in an all-encompassing, firm embrace.

18. You catch him stealing glimpses of you then quickly looking away, showing he feels embarrassed and self conscious about getting caught in the act- not something a truly platonic friend would even care about.

How to make international phone calls

Should you ever find yourself lost, alone, and mugged in a foreign land after an epic night of inebriation and are in dire need of getting a hold of someone from home to cancel all your credit cards before they're maxed out (not that I speak from personal experience or anything), for a convenient step-by-step guide on exactly how to dial any country regardless of where you are calling from, click here. 

                                        (pop art to the rescue!) 

Gilly Hicks vs. Victoria's Secret

I don't know about you ladies, but I'm pretty tired of Victoria's Secret. I don't know what it is about their bras, but I feel like they're getting less refined and more...bulky. Or they just don't seem to fit as well on someone who is more on the petite side (barely a 34B here). Whereas old school VS is looking more matronly, their PINK line is starting to look too juvenile. It just doesn't seem to meet my needs as a young woman looking for a great fit and great comfort, while being both sexy and sensible.

Then came Gilly Hicks. I recently heard about the "cheeky cousin" of Abercrombie & Fitch that is supposed to have originated from Australia (their icon is the Koala). As with the usual brand of A&F, it has overtly sexy advertising. Their store has a greeter, is dimly lit, plays loud music and is scented with their signature perfume. However, it's beautifully designed and surely anyone can appreciate the effort put into the store. The layout is more similar to Ruehl where it's broken up into separate rooms, but with out all the confusing mirrors that Ruehl has.

All their bras, lingerie and clothing items are perfectly laid out and very well displayed. Also, their associates are very well trained in customer service and are super helpful. I'm sure they're being held to a very high standard as there are only a few Gilly stores in the States at the moment.

Their items are on the more expensive side (just take a look at their website) with their bras running from $40-$60. Their sale section is similar to that of A&F and Hollister prices so I tend to gravitate towards that section, but their clothing items and pajamas are super soft (much that is the A&F signature). Their fit is more similar to GAP Body, which is great for more petite women and come in a variety of styles. Also, if you go, you MUST see the fitting rooms! They are so cute and pretty with soft bench cushions and even a bureau that is filled with various bras and sizes so that you can try them on for fit without even going back outside.