How to tell if a guy is into you

    (Joseph Gordon- Levitt & Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer) 

     He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me....he loves me!  If you are anything like me, you've, ahem, found yourself forced to cheat from time to time on this little flower petal game by perhaps skipping over a few or pulling off two at a time in order to achieve your desired outcome.

     Juvenile flower petal game or not, I think it's safe to say we've all experienced some level of angst wondering about whether the object of our affection feels the same way we do as we lie awake at night staring up at the ceiling and turning the thought of his dimpled smile or the way he totally texted us to ask for someone else's number over and over in our minds...What could it mean? Surely he could have asked someone else for Brenda's number instead? Surely he must have done it simply as an excuse to talk to me? Yep, the verdict is clear: We are in love!!!

     So then two weeks later when you hook up with him to consummate your eternal love then never hear from him again because he's hitting up Brenda, don't say we didn't warn you...

     Girls, the harsh reality is the following: If he calls you late at night to 'hang out,' that generally means he is in love with your ass, not you, and will only remain in love with your ass until that moment in time when you give it up to him...It sucks, we know, we just want to protect you from evil boys using and abusing you; and let's face it, all guys really seem to want at this stage in the game is to use and abuse.

     However, that's not at all to say that there aren't a few sweethearts out there (somewhere?) that make it all worth the effort. The fundamental question that remains then is how do we go about differentiating between your average douche bag and a genuine gentleman that actually is worth the effort?

     The good news is that a few subtle yet surefire giveaways exist that trump all sweet talk and corny one-liners commonly used to try to coax us into the sack that not even the best player can conceal, letting you know he is genuinely that into you. How can you tell?  

                                                Here's how:


1.. He texts or calls you back within seconds of you contacting him, which also generally indicates that he was anticipating your call like a puppy waiting for a bone.
2. He pays when you go out even if he's broke and gets upset if you offer to pay.
3. He pretends he's not cold so he can give you his jacket when you're cold (and still forces you to wear it even after you say no).
4. He introduces you to his friends and isn't afraid to be affectionate with you in front of them.
5. He sets his facebook default pic to one of both of you.
6. He treats you like a lady by opening doors or walking on the outside of the sidewalk, proving that chivalry is not dead- Yay!
7. He's willing to make an ass of himself-You love to dance, he hates it and has zero rhythm yet takes you out salsa dancing anyway, knowing full well there's a good chance you might not like him after you've seen him look like a complete idiot.
8. He indulges you. He goes out of his way to bring you Starbucks every morning- and you didn't even ask!
9. When you are out together, he is totally focused on you, not scoping out the girl at the next table, the waitress, the bus boy...
10. When you talk he looks at your face, not your chest- even if you are wearing something semi-revealing.
11. He remembers even the random things you say in conversation and brings them up later.
12. He understands your mannerisms and nuances so well that he can determine what you're feeling before you've even said a word and goes out of his way to cheer you up when he knows you're having a bad day.
13. He laughs a lot at the things you do and say, but always in a I'm-laughing-because-I-think-you're-so-cute kind of way, not a wow-that-was-dumb kind of way.
14. He calls you beautiful, pretty or cute; not hot or sexy.
15. He likes you au'naturale. He finds you just as attractive when you're lounging around in sweats and a t-shirt with no make-up on as when you're all dolled up.
16. He appreciates your dorky side. Not only does he find your love for Twilight or your coke bottle glasses among your many other quirks cute, but they're what he likes most about you.
17. He believes in your dreams and fully supports them, no matter how random: "Baby, I want to be an astronaut..."
18. He takes one for the team by suffering through watching Grey's with you or shopping for your grandma with you for five hours when the Lakers game is on.
19. He comes through. He calls when he says he'll call and shows up when he says he will, showing you that he is dependable and doesn't plan on bailing anytime soon.
20. He does it himself. Rather than buying you a pre-made, insufferably cheesy hallmark card, he makes one for you, writes you a poem, or plays "In Your Eyes" while holding up a boombox outside your window...It could happen...right?